This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 31, 2020
December 25
just got out of Wonder Woman: 1984 and it's a triumph! I laughed, I cried - a masterpiece only slightly marred by the cinema's utterly flavourless coca cola and "salted" popcorn. Not sure if they've lost their magic touch during these trying times, but I couldn't taste a thing.
— TOM (@tomwalkerisgood) December 26, 2020
bill nye is short for william new year's eve
— despair man (@probablyalissa) December 26, 2020
I love Chicago because you can use outside as an extra fridge
— kyle (@knwalker97) December 25, 2020
this is literally the funniest image ive ever seen pic.twitter.com/hxsOPNJAmD
— deli parkin (@hot__patch) December 26, 2020
pixar movies 20 years ago: haha talking toys!
— sarah thee tonin 🖤 (@sarahndipity18) December 26, 2020
pixar movies now: how do you identify your life's purpose? what structures your identity & makes you, you? how do you deal with love & loss? what can we do to find joy in life despite the meaninglessness of our existence? how do we
my dad accidentally bought me a box of hentai thinking it was anime. there's 55 dvds... merry christmas pic.twitter.com/26UUJos4aX
— killuas babysitter (@savzillla) December 25, 2020
Kids make no sense. pic.twitter.com/6N3dc0toLL
— Mrs. Grotke (@__BHB__) December 25, 2020
My mother is "opening" gifts she bought for herself with my dads credit card. Ma'am what is this performance
— Blacks RULE (@zuri_too) December 25, 2020
December 26
parents b like "we know everything about you!" & it's all facts from when you were nine
— mx.gworl (they/them) (@lesbianoir) December 26, 2020
Dear Santa,
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) December 26, 2020
You didn't get me the thesaurus I asked for and now I'm mad. You made me really mad. I'm mad at you.
Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p
— Aadz (@AadzForPM) December 27, 2020
embarrassment is not real u can do whatever u want
— ً (@sh4diia) December 27, 2020
im gay now https://t.co/KoD0GfINQq
— rivkah reyes (@rivkahreyes) December 26, 2020
There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.
— Thuba (@2ba123) December 26, 2020
I miss bars so much i miss when a guy asks ur name and u say "I don't know"
— helena (@freshhel) December 27, 2020
my fav christmas story of all time: pic.twitter.com/cLr7fiRwxU
— k🐨ala marad💛na (@yungk0ala) December 26, 2020
Do you put bath bombs in the bath while you're in it or before you get in? I don't want to blow my dick off
— Chris Locke (@chrislockeworld) December 26, 2020
December 27
the american people do not need hope the american people need money this isn't fucking star wars
— cinnamon bun (@notsofiacoppola) December 27, 2020
thinking about these 1920s newspaper excerpts pic.twitter.com/cBPe4OgPo3
— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) December 27, 2020
https://t.co/y3YmCjLRkl pic.twitter.com/Aer2a2qG1o
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) December 27, 2020
really wish y'all had been on tumblr everything y'all discuss here we covered in the first season of tumblr
— been a saint (@swazikills) December 27, 2020
December 28
Just joined Noom and I'm feeling great. I've lost weight and it's all thanks to the dark lord Noom. All hail the oathbreaker, all hail the everlasting night. All hail Noom.
— Jordan Foisy (@JordanFoisy) December 29, 2020
I am a WRITER ok I open up my little computer when I have an IDEA and then I BUY THINGS on the INTERNET
— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) December 29, 2020
The Three Timbs of New York City pic.twitter.com/U2uJT6QrA4
— richie (@lobstadelic) December 29, 2020
idk the "I'm Just a Bill" sequel is way too dark for me pic.twitter.com/T2duUw3jVh
— Jeremy Kaplowitz (@jeremysmiles) December 29, 2020
The people who like your tweet before you delete it for a typo and then like it again when you repost are the backbone of society
— Lane (@lanewriteswords) December 29, 2020
— place where cat shouldn't be (@catshouldnt) December 28, 2020
Mr. Trump Loves Film pic.twitter.com/zDqpB5D44l
— Mr. Victor Berger IV (@VicBergerIV) December 29, 2020
December 29
somewhere out there ur name comes up when couples argue 😂😂
— 🚗Los (@tbecarlos) December 30, 2020
They need to hand over vaccine distribution to whoever puts up the Shen Yun posters
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) December 30, 2020
Reading Mein Kampf and shaking my head the whole time so the people on the bus know I disagree with it
— Kafka, Esq. (@metalgearobama) December 30, 2020
Just FYI if I say I "read an article about" I mean a 16 year old girl just told me on tiktok
— claire parker (@SorryDontClaire) December 29, 2020
What's your New Years resolution? pic.twitter.com/zmMxcwC5Py
— Presidant of Hei Network (@timheidecker) December 30, 2020
Today is Ted Danson's birthday.
— Is Today Ted Danson's Birthday? (@TedDansonBDay) December 29, 2020
— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) December 30, 2020
my favorite time I ruined thanksgiving was when I said "I'm getting a tongue ring" and my drunk uncle said "to eat someone's PUSSY?!?" and my mom burst into tears
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) December 30, 2020
December 30
CHESTER IS GOING TO K*LL MCCONNELL https://t.co/WYogUKFlWX
— micah "poggers" pooldad (@pooldad) December 30, 2020
Don, you've done it again pic.twitter.com/cDNrVtINM1
— miles klee 🐠 (@MilesKlee) December 30, 2020
When COVID is over "Where's my hug?" guys are coming back in full force. A storm is coming..
— cory snearowski (@corysnearowski) December 30, 2020
at a Covid testing site (wearing masks), handing over paperwork for me & two of my kids:
— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) December 31, 2020
woman looking over papers: "okay... Anthony, Keegan and Kadence... Hawk? Are you guys related to Tony Hawk?"
me: yes
her: "Are you pulling my leg?"
me: no, we are all directly related to him
COME ON STIMULUS I GOT THE BODYWASH UPSIDE DOWN WIT A LIL WATER IN IT🤣🤣🤣
— Marquis B. (@QuisBonds) December 30, 2020
Being a woman in two sentences 👇🏼 https://t.co/79VdSLA2GS
— JEN KIRKMAN 👩🏻💻 (@JenKirkman) December 31, 2020
December 31
Just remembered the funniest photo of all time pic.twitter.com/w4k08woavy
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) December 31, 2020
December 31st 2020 has big "just one more day until retirement" in a crime movie energy
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) December 31, 2020
Exactly a year ago we were thanking fuck that 2019 was over! Happy 2021 from NZ. So far, 5 mins in and it seems okay.
— Jemaine Clement (@AJemaineClement) December 31, 2020